Revoltech Queen’s Blade, Echidna & Alleyne Review

So, with as much fun as I had with the Trigun Revoltech figures, I had about the opposite experience with the Queen’s Blade figures. Not that they weren’t amazingly poseable and all that! I saw the figure of Alleyne and thought, “Oh, a figure of a cute elf girl who fights. That’s kinda neat.” And then I watched the show. Being an old man of nearly 30, watching anime is kind of hard now-a-days. Watching this show actually pissed me off. I had heard it was a mostly T&A kind of show, and I was okay with that, cause Japan is a fucked up country. During the first episode, I threw my hands into the air with disgust and rolled my eyes enough to probably convince people I was having seizures. There is so much unnecessary nudity for a show that isn’t inherently pornographic. And there’s not enough plot for it to be taken seriously. The show is like softcore porn, really. I’m too old to enjoy it and not old enough to enjoy it–if that makes any sense at all. (To further explain, I’m not a teenager, and I’m not a dirty old man)

So, that’s enough about the SHOW. The figures that I purchased cause I thought they looked cool are actually kind of neat. They’re very poseable and have their weapons from the show. And they even come with nice stands. These stands are much better than the crappy ones that came with the first few Fraulein line figures from Revoltech. They allow for more dynamic poses, and it pegs into the back of the figure so they don’t have a clip around their waist.It also allows them to have their feet on the ground, so they’re not in a constant state of hovering like my Evangelion Revoltechs.

However, I’ve never felt more awkward holding a toy in my life. The Alleyne one is pretty innocent… She’s an elf with a staff, and has a cape. But, there’s a catch to this innocence. You get the T&A features on the toys, too… Yeah, that’s right. Every bit of clothing on her torso can be removed. While there’s not a lot of detail on those areas, you can definitely tell the figure is meant to be stripped. Oh, and it doesn’t help matters that the changeable face she has is a damsel-in-distress look, as if she’s being violated or something. The Echidna one is hard to even want to display. She has a snake around her waist which doubles as panties. Yeah, that’s right. She uses a snake companion as underwear. It can be removed. Not to mention she’s showing off her ass anyway. I didn’t take any pictures of the “oh no, violated” expressions that both of these characters come with–but plenty of people have. You can search the googles if you need it to see it for yourself. Or, if you want a PG-13 idea of it, just check out the pictures of the back of the boxes. =P

The figures themselves are some great works of engineering. But it just seems wrong to have some of the features these have. If you’re a fan of the show, you’ll like them. I don’t think I could recommend this to someone as just a casual display piece, though. It’s a bit too perverted for my tastes.

Pros:

  • Cool stands!
  • Very poseable and show accurate.

Cons:

  • a little TOO show accurate, if you get what I mean…
  • Not suitable for minors and impressionable minds!
  • Possible mockery from your peers for having pervy figures.
  • wtf Japan?

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